News has surfaced that some residents of St. Petersburg, Russia are discontent with the display of a plastic copy of Michelangelo’s 16-foot-tall masterpiece David. The reason: the naked penis. Apparently, some citizens are too puritanical to appreciate a little bit of classical beauty and believe the display of such excellence (cause obviously, it’s über excellent) will corrupt the city’s children.
Solution: dress it. Although the council is sure that the city’s children are cultured enough to appreciated the statue, they take the complaint serious and a vote to determine whether or not to cover up the statue will be held. Considering recent years’ development in Russia (and the fact that it will not be the first time someone covers up parts of the sculpture: Queen Victoria had its goods covered with a fig leaf back in the day), we are sure the vote will a big fat yes.
Hence, we took this opportunity to give those certain St. Petersburg residents ten style choices that we are sure they’ll love.